theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
