First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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