it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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