Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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