It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My first STD was from a foam party
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
