Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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