Christians are straight up FREAKS
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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