i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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