and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
