My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
