my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
