Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
