what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
