Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
