in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
