none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
