Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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