where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
