I think i peed on brittanys purse
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
