operation harelip BJ is a go
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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