I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
