I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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