3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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