I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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