i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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