why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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