No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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