I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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