Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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