You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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