So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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