I'm really into asian looking animals
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
