I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
