after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
