i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
