My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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