I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
