fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
