I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
