why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
