I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
