Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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