...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
