I can tuck mytits in my pants
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
