I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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