You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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