I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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