I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
