Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
