Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
